


Everything and Nothing at All

by Ilovecastiel18



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, End of the World, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kissing, Men Crying, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 05:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20576882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovecastiel18/pseuds/Ilovecastiel18
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale discuss their relationship and everything it entails as the world comes to an end - taking them along with it. Heavy Angst. One-Shot.





	Everything and Nothing at All

**Author's Note:**

> I can't sleep, guys. I've LITERALLY been tossing and turning for four hours. I have class in 6 hours but FUCK IT, this idea came to me and I can't sleep anyway. It's unbetad and written on my phone (which is unusual, I usually write on my laptop but my roommate is sleeping and I'm a loud typer) so apologizes for any mistakes. I hope you like this!
> 
> UPDATE: I've now been tossing and turning for 7 hours, I have to get up for class in an hour and a half and I literally have not slept for a single minute all night. Wish me luck!

**Disclaimer: **Good Omens, along with its characters, locations, etc. are the property of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. If I owned the rights to it, I wouldn’t still be desperate to meet the man that I absolutely ADORE: David Tennant.

...........

Everything and Nothing at All

..........

God has existed throughout every single millisecond of everything, and yet she has never experienced life as She created it. She has always been, and never was.

God exists in a dimension outside of time and space, meaning She witnesses every single second of her creation at the exact same moment. 

She could very well have existed for trillions of years. Or She could have only existed for a nanosecond.

As such, God sees things very differently than mortals do. Because she can see every single moment of creation, from the Beginning to the End, simultaneously, she does every Thing with a purpose. 

She knew how it would turn out when she created Crowley and Aziraphale, just as she knew what would happen when she created the humans, created mortality. She was never truly mad at Eve for eating the apple, because it was all planned from the moment God came into existence (in a very loose sense of the term. God could not 'come into existence,' because God _is _existence. But that's another matter entirely). 

She knew how the not-pocalypse would end, She knew that Crowley and Aziraphale would be released from Heaven and Hell to live out the rest of eternity on the Earth. Together.

Throughout all of creation, God had favorite moments and least favorite moments. Most of them consisted of moments between Aziraphale and Crowley. Because she was a being who could see every nanosecond of existence at the same time, whenever She wanted... She had moments that she chose to watch repeatedly, and those She wished to ignore.

She never chose to watch the night where Aziraphale gave Crowley holy water, the night where he told the demon that "you go to fast for me, Crowley."

She never chose to watch the two beings argue in the bandstand, when Aziraphale yelled "I don't even like you!" at the unsuspecting demon, leaving Crowley feeling empty and alone.

Those moments were necessary, but not God's favorites by any means. 

If She had a choice, God usually chose to watch when Aziraphale and Crowley toasted "to the world," or when they finally realized, roughly five years after the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, that they truly, deeply loved each other.

Some moments, if they could be considered moments in regard to a being that exists outside of space and time, God chose to look in on bittersweet, sad, lovely moments between the two that could never be matched by any other being. The way that Crowley and Aziraphale loved each other...

This moment was one of those moments, one of God's favorites. The moments where Crowley and Aziraphale, the last beings in the universe, ceased to exist.

..........

It had been roughly 60 million years since the world failed to end, and the stars were winking out.

The last human had died ten thousand years earlier, and the last angels and demons, besides Crowley and Aziraphale, had been dead and gone for the last eight thousand.

When the last human died, Crowley and Aziraphale decided it was time they leave London, time to move on to a life without other beings surrounding them.

They both chose to move back to the Garden of Eden, to where their story started. They felt as if they were going full circle. 

They both knew that, one day, existence would wink out and there would be nothing, a great big expanse of absolutely nothing. A nothing that used to be entirely everything.

They started to feel the shift in existence two thousand years after they, along with the bookshop and Bentley, moved to the Garden. They started to feel the stars winking out, their existence dulling. They could feel the end approaching.

So, they did what any immortal being would do when faced with the end of their existence: they drank. The both of them were nearly black-out drunk for four decades straight before they realized what a waste it was to be unable to truly enjoy their last years together.

So, they sobered up.

They spend the next few millennia enjoying each other and the things that they had come to love. Aziraphale would read books to Crowley, Crowley would tend to the plants still growing in the Garden, they would take a drive in the Bentley, surveying the surrounding desert for life, even though they knew it would not be there.

They would also spend weeks at a time curled around each other, trying to get as much contact as possible before they never got the chance again. They would hug, they would cry, they would kiss until their lips were chapped and they had to surface for air (they were rather used to breathing after so long on Earth, they could only go so many days without taking a breath).

In short, they tried to enjoy their last years together as much as possible, trying to cram as many happy memories into their minds as possible before their minds ceased to exist.

In their last weeks, they clung to each other, always holding hands or waists or locking their lips together in a deep, passionate, devoted kiss. As they felt the last of the stars dying out, felt their last moments coming to an end, the two impossible beings stepped out of A.Z. Fell and Co.'s bookshop for the last time, climbing up and sitting on the Eastern Wall of the Garden.

The exact place where they had met all those year ago.

They sat where they had stood during their first meeting, hands clasped together, necks craned to watch the last dozen stars wink out.

"Crowley, if these are our last moments, I just want to say..."

"Don't, angel. You don't have to say anything. I already know." Crowley's voice was thick and raw from emotion. He felt tears clogging his throat despite his insistence, his demand, that he was perfectly fine. They had known this was coming, it wasn't a shock to feel the end coming near. Still, he felt tears pressing against the backs of his serpent eyes. Tears that he refused to let fall.

"I want to say this, one last time." Aziraphale turned to look Crowley in the eyes, his beautiful, otherworldly eyes; bringing the demon's hand to his lips and kissing it gently. 

"Crowley, you are everything to me. I simply could not exist without you. From the moment I met you, all those year ago, I knew that I was destined to love you more than anyone else, possibly more than God Herself. If you could gather up every single soul that ever existed, in the history of existence, and combine their capacities to love, it wouldn't even compare to the amount of love I hold for you. You're as deep as the ocean, are beautiful as the stars. You are absolutely _everything,_ my love. I have always loved you, and will love you until I cease to exist. I love you, my dear. Always." Aziraphale reached up with his free hand and wiped at the tears pooling in Crowley's eyes, dutifully allowing his to pool and fall. "If I could turn back the clock and change some moments between us, I would make sure that you knew how much I loved you, from the moment we met. I treated you as nothing but a burden for so many years. I have tried to make up for that, to be there for you, and I hope I have been successful. You are the most brilliant, intelligent, gorgeous, lovely, _amazing_ being I have ever had the fortune to meet. I absolutely adore you, my dear. Everything about you is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I love you with everything that I am, Crowley. I sincerely hope you know that." Aziraphale let a tear fall from his eye as he looked at the love of his life.

"Angel, you're everything to me as well." Crowley choked out. "If you didn't exist, I would be nothing at all. I could not have lived this long without you by my side. I made stars, planets, whole galaxies when I was an angel, and none of that beauty could ever compare to you. You're _astounding, _Aziraphale. There is nobody else, in the history of everything, that I would rather spend my last moments with. I love you with everything I have, angel. Absolutely everything." Crowley cupped Aziraphale's cheek with his free hand, stroking his thumb under the angel's eye to catch a falling tear. "I wouldn't change a single moment between us, love. Everything that we are is made up of everything that we have experienced. If you hadn't acted that way all those years ago, we might not be what we are today. I forgive you, completely. I could never hold a grudge against you when the alternative is loving you with everything that I have, everything that I am. I love you absolutely, angel. Aziraphale. I love you absolutely." Crowley let his tears fall as well, looking into Aziraphale's eyes as if this was the last time he would ever see them, which it was.

As Aziraphale and Crowley stared at each other, they could feel their power dulling, feel unconsciousness edging into their minds. Crowley leaned forward and captured Aziraphale's mouth with his own.

The kiss was chaste, short, hardly more than a brushing of lips against lips. Crowley and Aziraphale had certainly had more heated kisses than this, and yet it was everything that either could possibly hope for in their last moments. 

That kiss was so full of love that they could hardly contain themselves, tears mingling with the taste of each other. Their sadness, their love, their uncertainty about what was coming next - all of it was mixed into the kiss, into the taste and feeling of their lips being pressed together, their hands clasped and their fingers caressing. 

There could not possibly be a better way to go, if they allowed themselves to think about it. Nobody else could have had such a wonderful ending. They'd had thousand of years, millions of years, to come to terms with the end, and they spent their last moments in each others arms, hoping that, one day, existence would continue once more. That maybe, just maybe, they had made enough of an impact that God would want to start all over again.

When their kiss ended, both Crowley and Aziraphale turned away from each other to watch the last stars die. The sun would be the last to go, they both knew it. They allowed their fear, their love, their devotion, their everything to show, basking in their emotions for the last few moments of existence. 

Their last few moments with each other.

There were only six stars left in the sky when Crowley's existence winked out. Aziraphale felt the demon's soul evaporate; it felt like a punch to the stomach, as if all the air had been knocked from his unnecessary lungs and his heart shattered into pieces. His tightened his grip on Crowley's limp hand, refusing to let go of the only thing he had truly ever loved.

There were five stars left when Aziraphale ceased to exist. 

The last thing that Aziraphale felt, as the blackness overcame him, was unhindered, all-encompassing love radiating off Crowley's empty vessel, so used to the feeling that it didn't even realize that the owner was gone.

As the two bodies slipped off the wall, no longer controlled by their owners, Aziraphale felt the ghost of a smile grace his face. He used the last of his strength to weakly squeeze Crowley's hand, which was still trapped in his own. They were going out together, as they had always hoped.

And then he was gone.

...........

As God watched the final moments of Her existence, she felt tears wet her eyes. She did not have a form, nor did She have the capacity for tears, but it happened nonetheless. 

As She gathered her materials, gearing up to make the next universe, start Her newest creation, She thought back to the last thoughts of Her two favorite beings.

Crowley and Aziraphale may not have made a big difference in the world, but they made a huge difference in God. Her eyes shone with their compassion, their devotion, as she started to paint the sky.

God would be damned if She didn't make a new world that was befitting of those two ineffable beings.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually super proud of how this came out. It was hardly more than an idea when I started writing, and I honestly think it might be one of my favorite fics I've ever written.  
Anyway...  
Reviews fuel my fire, so if you liked this please leave a kind message! Thank you!


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